Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
