Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
