Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
