I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
