I don't usually arrange sex via text message
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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