plz talk dirty to me
Someone shit on the floor
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
