Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
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