I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
