im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
