seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
