do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We're using joints as your birthday candles
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
