i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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