I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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