I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.