Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.