I bet he comes in French.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
