I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize