a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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