Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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