I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
