i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Randomize
