he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
