Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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