My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
