Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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