I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
