what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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