Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
