i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize