The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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