shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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