Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
