I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
