but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
