i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
