Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
