Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
