Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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