we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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