he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
operation have a gay friend backfired
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.