I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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