they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
