your thong is hanging out like whoa
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
