she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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