Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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