Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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