Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
