how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
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I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
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Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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