Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
