I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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