dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
