hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
