Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
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Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
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Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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