the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
