I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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