Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
