don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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