I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
