It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
