Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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