So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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