He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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