well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
This is the high leading the old right now
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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