So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
