My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
