The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
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Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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