READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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