this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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