I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
