you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
