He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
