Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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