hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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