Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
