FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
