dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
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Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
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How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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